Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Odd Mom Out

I learned a little something about myself this weekend. Unless the conversation is about bodily functions, tantrums, time outs or my awesome mom wardrobe (holey jeans and sweatshirts anyone?) I don't know what to talk about.

Twice this weekend I was seated at a table where I felt like I had zippo to add to the conversation. This was new territory for me! Granted, a couple of the conversations took turns I wouldn't have been able to make a meaningful contribution to anyway (like when the topics of Michelangelo's struggle with depression or computer software design came up) but still... I felt like I should be able to at least say something!

At first I thought "huh, maybe I do need to get out more often"! Then it dawned on me: I get out plenty (4-5 times a month usually), but the people I'm getting out with are generally moms themselves. I have no problems conversing with my childless-sister or with my friend Stephanie (also without children), but we have plenty in common beyond kids. Besides, those two like to hear about my boys (at least, I think they do) so it's not a big deal when I throw "mom stuff" in there.

I was sharing this revelation with Nick last night, talking about how I felt kind of badly that I can't seem to have an adult conversation that does not lead back to poop, time outs or the cute things my kids say and do, when he pointed out that that's ok. This is just the stage of life I'm in. There's no shame in talking almost exclusively about my kids; they are what consumes my life right now of course. I tried to argue with him, that I feel like it should be the same as the advice given to parents: when out on a "date" don't talk about your kids. He finds that silly too. If the parents enjoy talking about their children, let them talk! My husband is so smart :)

Speaking of my husband - he did a great job caring for the boys this weekend while I was gone! Really, was there any doubt though? I will say this though... there are two things he did that stick out in my mind.

1. He gave the boys Spam. For those of you who don't know my husband, you should know this: Nick loves Spam. Disgusting, I know. On Friday Nick made himself a tuna and spam sandwich (anyone throw up in their mouths a little while reading that?) and made the boys' grilled cheese and gave them each a piece of Spam to go with it. He said the boys loved it and he heard the words he's been longing to hear: "More Spam please Daddy!"

2. He taught the boys to pee standing up. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Thankfully their aim seems to be decent. It's the dribbling all over the toilet and stool towards the end that grosses this mommy out. Oh well. Each night Nick has tackled said toilet and stool with a bottle of Lysol, so at least it's being cleaned up.

Finally, a couple more wedding photos! I promise to get back on track tomorrow and get my 365 blog updated later today!



RoseAnneH said...

I remember the time of my life when I thought my mind was going to mush and that I would never again be able to hold an intelligent conversation. Looking at it from the other side I say, "Enjoy this time of 'mommy talk', embrace it knowing that it is a fleeting time that will never again be repeated, and knowing that you will have many years of stimulating, intellectual conversations (often with your, then, adult children). :)

Jessica Griffiths said...

Helen, that post made me laugh :) My husband doesn't eat spam, but he can have a rather monotonous and unhealthy diet of McDonald's Filet-o-Fish, hot dogs, pizza, and fish sticks (and not much else). I guess since he is still in college and working full time I haven't made him stop yet, but it is nice to know that other people's husbands eat funny things, too!

Brenda said...

You know I have the same issue with conversations - even with mommies who have kids (just older). I suppose it's normal, but it feels awkward doesn't it?

Oh and our Husbands will get along great - Dave is a fanatic for SPAM (not allowed in the house when I'm home). I await stories of my own of feeding Drew spam & eggs.... (my luck Drew would actually eat it!)

Twincerely,Olga said...

you are funny about the spam and peeing standing up!!! heeheehank goodness hubby will clean it up!!
He is also smart and right about you talking about your boys!! best thing to talk about,right??I have 17 mo. old twins and grown kids and I am always talking about them in some way or another!!
You were a very beautiful bride!!!

Laney said...

Great post! I feel the same way when talking to non-moms!

Christina said...

That was a great post! I think its totally fine we have nothing to talk about but our kids. We raise multiples...and you know what? We're damn good at it, and if we want to talk about poop, I think we can talk about poop! ;)

And yes, I did throw up in my mouth..thank your hubby for me.

freckletree. said...

all i can think:



The Lane Family said...

I know that feeling of not being able to carry on a LONG adult conversation without it somehow at some point turning too tantrums, poo and other fun kid stuff :) I just remember that there will be MANY years to come when there will be times for all kinds of other conversations!!

TUNA and SPAM...yes a little throw-up in the mouth :)

What a wonderful husband to clean up after the boys in the bathroom.

The bride is beautiful and I love her hair!!!

Lauren said...

Freckletree, I couldn't get past the mention of tuna and SPAM either. I have no cluce what the rest of the post said. Oh my.

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